How to Make Friends as a Solo Traveler

Traveling the world alone can seem pretty daunting. One of my biggest fears when I first started was if I was going to be lonely. Would I make friends as a solo traveler? Would I find community?

The most common question in my DMs lately has been the same.

“How do you make friends as a solo traveler?“

The Golden Rule of travel friendships is actually a Golden Question: “How can I make each aspect of my life more social?”

One of my favorite NYT travel articles makes an excellent case for social solo travel:

“Experiencing another culture on your own terms, at your own pace, with a budget of your own choosing can be an incredibly rewarding and insightful adventure…. [and] solo travel does not have to mean you’re alone all the time. There are local communities to safely interact with as well as fellow globe-trotters in a similar position.”

So don’t let worries about loneliness or making friends stand in the way of your travel dreams!

Take on the world solo, and make friends along the way. Here’s how.

1. Choose social accomodation

Social housing has been my #1 key to making friends and building community as I travel. 

FOR SHORT STAYS (1-7 DAYS)

Hostels should be your go-to, especially if you’re new to solo travel.

I promise, it is not to the grimy backpacker hovel you’re imagining – or at least, it doesn’t have to be. I’ve stayed in “poshtels” with five star hotel level amenities and private rooms that I enjoyed more than hotels.

Just sleeping there doesn’t do the trick, though. You have to actually take advantage of the social nature of the hostel.

Hang out in the common areas. Introduce yourself to people. Say good morning at the coffee pot. Most hostels will also have a simple on-site bar, and everyone’s there for cheap beer and new friends. My favorite method is joining the hostel events, like walking tours and group excursions.

Statistically, most of the other guests your hostel are solo travelers and looking to make friends, just like you.

Even if you can’t bring yourself to stay in the hostel, at least book accommodation close to a hostel and ask if you can participate in some of their organized activities like tours and excursions.

FOR LONGER STAYS (weeks or months):

Mix and match from these three suggestions. 

• Start with a weekend in a hostel to make friends and walk around the neighborhoods. Then move into a local rented apartment in a neighborhood with social points that you like (your preferred cafes, bars, bookstores, parks). 

• Try a coliving-coworking space or digital nomad house. They’re designed as intentional communities with coworking spaces, strong wifi, and a social side. They range in price from super budget-friendly to peak luxury, and in size from 3 units to 50+ units. You’ll usually have to submit a booking request or application. I personally use Anyplace.com and Coliving.com (if you use my referral links for either site you can get a discount on your first month’s rent).

• Book an Airbnb room in a shared house with a good mix of locals and travelers. You’ll have common spaces like kitchens, terraces, or living areas to socialize. Pro tip: houses with housekeepers or cleaning service and set quiet hours are best, as they eliminate the sources of most roommate tiffs. 

*Disclaimer: Selina will always pop up in coliving-coworking searches, but I would advise caution, as I’ve had only negative experiences with their accomodation (coworks are great).

I’ve Got Social Accomodation. What Next?

Once you’re in social housing, take things to the next level by tapping into your housemates‘ friend networks. 

One of my go-to moves is hosting a dinner on Wednesdays. Right now it’s a homemade pasta night, but this has gone through variations of BBQ night, pizza night, and wine night over the years, so you definitely don’t need to be a chef!

I invite my housemates or hostelmates, and ask them to invite as many of their friends as they want. Suddenly, you’ve expanded your social network to second and third levels of connections.

2. Socialize your daily life

This is where you have to be really self-aware and intentional.

One of the easiest ways to make your daily life more social is to “just join stuff,” as an old travel friend put it. Joining organized activities takes a lot of the guess work out of it.

I’ve had a blast with language meetups, paddleboard clubs, women’s meetups, and athletic activities like surf classes and boxing lessons. Pay attention to the flyers you usually ignore in bathrooms, coffeeshops, hostels, and on the street.

I knew a real estate focused digital nomad in Tulum who joined a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu meetup held on the roof of an Italian restaurant. Trust me – wherever you are, whatever you like, you can find some organized activities to join. 

Outside of the organized activities, you have to work a little harder to socialize your tasks.  You can try doing your task in a more social environment to increase your points of contact with possible new friends.

• If you want to read or journal, try a buzzing cafe or a park bench instead of your bed. 

• If you want to do some yoga, grab a few friends and go try a local studio instead of flowing your room solo. 

• If you want to have a drink, opt for a seat at a social bar. Bring a book as your date if you feel nervous!

• If you need to get some work done on the computer, sample some coworking spaces and cafes. 

Being Friendly Is Required To Make Friends

Increasing your points of contact is only half the battle.

You have to be approachable, and you have to approach.

This means avoiding headphones or dark hidden corners of rooms. Personally, I have a challenge for myself to talk to at least one stranger every day (This is going to be a lot easier if you are at least learning the local language). 

So many people I give this advice to for the first time think it’s crazy or would bother the person. But honestly, over three years of solo travel, I’ve only had one or two “dud” interactions. Most of the time, it creates really cool connections.

Two of my current best travel friends came from these random points of contact (asking a girl in a hostel what she was reading, and offering a pen to a guy filling out his customs form at the airport).

Where Goes Rose also has some super specific tips and tricks, like how to offer to take photos for other travelers or chat up your seatmates on transport.

Catherine of Her Bags Were Packed also has an excellent round-up of tips from experienced solo female travelers, like bringing games with you and sitting at the bar instead of a table for one.

Putting yourself out there gets easier with practice. So, get started!

3. Be the girl with the stuff

It’s the kindergarten principle. Sharing is caring – and makes new friends.  

Having the little stuff on you that strangers want or need can come in handy too. Remember that pen on the plane that made a lifelong friend?

Some things that I constantly carry in my day bag that have made me a friend at some point during my travels:

• Power bank with charging cord
• Converter
• Pens
• Snacks
• Tampons
• Tissues
• Hair bands
• Pain medicine
• Mints
• Sunscreen
• Local SIM card with data (in my phone, but can really help someone whose international plan isn’t’ working when they need to find their hotel or friends)

Everyone wants to be friends with the girl with the stuff.

I promise you – Sharing is one of the easiest hacks to make friends as a solo traveler.

4. Leverage technology for community

No matter how long you’re staying, try Facebook pages like Host a Sister, Budget Travel Babes, and Solo Female Travelers.

Apps like Tourlina and Amica cater to solo female travelers and can be a super great resource. Meanwhile, Meetup helps you join other people for pretty much any activity you can think of, for a small fee.

Check out Leyla’s tips from Women on the Road’s Ultimate Guide to Social Dining to see apps and sites made specifically for sharing a meal, like EatWith. For the ladies, Bumble BFF is made for women trying to make new friends, so it can be a great resource for solo female travelers.

If you’re super upfront about only making friends and willing to deal with lots of riff raff, you can try using dating apps like Tinder and Bumble to make friends.

I know a few women who have done that successfully by asking that their match bring a group of their friends to come meet up with her group of friends at a fun public place like the beach, brewery, market, etc. I would advise approaching with caution, and it hasn’t been my cup of tea personally. But if it works for you, go for it!

For Long-Term Travelers and Digital Nomads

If you’re staying put for a longer time (a month or more) or plan on returning to one destination frequently, there are some extra groups that can be really helpful to join. In literally every city I have traveled to, there has been a Facebook group for “Expats in City X” (it’s a problematic term, we know, but these are how the groups are usually titled). For bigger international cities, there’s a group called InterNations that organizes social and professional events for members. 

If you’re a digital nomad, there are DN-specific Facebook groups. Some I really love are Female Digital Nomads, Digital Nomads Solo Female Traveler Network, and Boss Girl Blogger. You can check out some web-based communities on Wanderful, Meetup.com, Nomadlist, and CoCoHub. To be honest though, your main digital nomad-specific social “ins” are going to be coworking spaces. Networking events and summits like 7in7, Nomad Summit, Nomad Cruise, and Nomad City can be great (but pricy) ways to build remote worker networks too.

5. Stay in touch

Once you make friends on the road, whether for a night or a few months, make sure to stay in touch both actively and passively. 

I stay in touch using two systems: Contacts and Instagram.

Keeping A Detailed Contact List

It’s a good idea to make a new contact in your phone for every new friend you meet on your travels. Make sure to add whatever details might be useful to you. For example, I include where they’re from, where I met them, what they do for work, and their socials along with their number. 

If you follow this system, you can reach out to old friends from time to time in a way that benefits everyone.

When I’m in a new place, I can search my contacts for “Madrid” or “Colombia” and see who pops up. When I need to collaborate on a new project, I can search my contacts for “programmer” or “graphic designer” and hire a friend.

Then there’s Instagram, which has personally been the easiest and most useful way of maintaining a social network.

Instagram As A Network Of Travel Friends

Made a new friend? Follow her on Instagram.

Now she’s moving on to a different destination or going home? Show her love when she pops into your feed or DMs. Support her new projects; hype her up in the comments. Keep an eye on where she is in the world and in her career, and try to offer up contacts to expand her network in her city or industry. 

Then, when you it’s your turn to travel to a new place or start a new project, post an update on social media so that your new travel friends have the chance to return the favor. 

When I move cities or countries, I post on my Instagram story during a high traffic time for my contacts (e.g. Monday morning central time) : “Heading to Destination X for Month Y – DM me with recommendations!”

Nine times out of ten, I get DMs from travel friends who are in that location or have friends/family there to connect me to. Then, I set aside half an hour to scroll through a bunch of instagram stories and travel friend’s feeds to see if I can spot anybody who happens to be where I’m going. 

At this point in my omad life, after using these Instagram and Contacts systems for a while, I always have at least one contact in each new city before I even land. What a great way to start a trip!

If you’re still worried about making friends when traveling, please contact me and I’ll do my best to get you plugged into a community where you go. We’re all navigating this solo female travel journey together!

Do you have any tips for making friends when traveling solo? Drop a comment below.